Angry - Adrian Dunn, Angola Prison
Dear Reader,
Am I allowed to be angry while imprisoned? That's a good question. To get to the answer, let's start with who I am.
I'm a son, a brother, an uncle, and a friend. I'm an artist, a musician, a poet, and a writer. I'm also a man with a life sentence for murder. That makes me a threat to society, a burden to my family, and a slave to the system. Right? Well, it depends on who you ask.
When I use hindsight, I see that there was pain in my heart and confusion in my mind. I was consumed by anger and driven by greed during the years before I knew how to be me. So there was an opportunity for a robbery. There were co-defendants and unsuspecting victims. My hands were empty though not entirely clean. I shouldn't have been there... but I was. And toward the end, there was a lot of grief with no real satisfaction. There was no wisdom. There was no sympathy or rationale. There was no direction or courage. In short, there was no purpose. From childhood, there was little love and no attempt by those close to me to see the best in me. The result: I never loved or saw the best in myself. The force we call time pushed me forward with a distorted vision and, with a faulty education, I became an aged male who stood far away from manhood. Those are the facts. So should I be angry?
Even though I was miseducated, I wasn't unable to be educated. From the time of arrest to the moment of sentencing, I thought about the days gone by. What I found out was this: I'd abused my right to freedom but I wasn't ready to lose it. I needed to find out how to get it back, and how to make better use of it if allowed to possess it again. Then I came to prison, where I've been exposed to more knowledge than I thought I could take him. Through reading and meeting multiple personalities, I've been able to use my mind to travel around the world. Along the way, I've made many people's experience my own. They've changed me deeply. There's less pain, less confusion, and less greed. There's more wisdom, more sympathy, more love, and more courage. But there's also more anger. Here’s why…
Knowledge brings consciousness. And being conscious is the equivalent of bringing light to darkness. Because we're human, when light overtakes darkness, we can see better and be able to distinguish one thing from another. So, now that I can see better, I can move better— mentally and physically. I can see the wrongs that once dominated my character. They exist in so many people but come out in different ways. As I look at the world I see so much corruption. It's present in every system: government, education, financial, and judicial. The way they deal with certain situations proves what should be already thought of: our appointed leaders have agendas that undermine the Constitution's integrity and overlook the needs of the common people. And I alone can't change it. That makes me angry.
Being in a position where I can pinpoint most of the problems, with no ability to solve them, makes me angry. The courts continuously orchestrate proceedings to send people away for crimes that may or may not have been committed. Court-appointed lawyers are underfunded and overworked. More schools are closing while more prisons are opening. Police brutality and racism is still a problem. More money is put into technological advances for war and space exploration than is put into battling homelessness, hunger, miseducation, incurable diseases, mental illness, and drug abuse, combined. But I'm in prison. And if I stand on a platform to speak out against injustice, I'll be looked at as just another angry murderer who's showing no signs of rehabilitation. That’s the tactic they use to make society ignore me and those who see what I see. But instead of silencing, it only angers me and forces me to shout louder. The anger motivates me to keep challenging those oppressive systems. My love makes me hate all forms of injustice. And that won't change until those systems change and freedom in this country, and around the world, means we're really free.
I'm only one voice against many, and I have a lot to say. Yes, I'm angry. And, yes, I'm a prisoner. But I'm also a human with a soul that has guided me to manhood. I've embraced love. I feel sympathy. I show concern and believe in the power of good that lives in all of our hearts. In short, I found a purpose. So I wish for better days to come. I'm allowed to have anger if it helps me overcome fear. Without fear I can continue to stand strong in the face of adversity, and dedicate my life to helping people find what we’re all searching for: Happiness.
Thanks for caring.
Sincerely yours,
Adrian Dunn #400765
Angola Prison
